“Leaving His Mark on Us”

by Pastor Wade

But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about those who have died, so that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.  For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have died.  1 Thessalonians 4:13-14
On Monday, I had my last cup of coffee with my friend Ray Scharnowske…

He and Carol and son, Bob, and youngest daughter, Karen, were in the front room of their new home in Bismarck, ND.  After 20-some years of living in Lakes Country – in Brainerd and Detroit Lakes, they had moved back to be close to family, back to the places where they had lived while growing up and while raising their families.

Ray was not actually drinking coffee with me.  He was in the hospital bed that had been provided by Hospice and it was obvious that the cancer in his body had taken its toll and that his once great strength was now far gone.  He was no longer able to take food or fluids.  A year ago I would never have imagined we would be gathered like this, saying, “We will miss you Ray, and we trust you to God’s keeping.”  It was just over a year ago that he stopped drinking coffee when he made his morning visits to the Church office.  “My digestive system has been kind of upset,” he would say, “so I’m laying off the coffee for now.”  What followed was a long Winter and Spring of visits to doctors and test-taking to try and get to the bottom of his discomfort and continued loss of weight.  It wasn’t until June, however, that they identified the tumor hiding behind his pancreas, and by then it was inoperable.  Attempts to get ahead of the cancer with chemo and other therapies followed, but they only made Ray sicker and failed to stop the cancer growing in his body.

So, here we were on Monday…gathered in their home, thankful that they had made the transition while Ray still had some strength, but also grieving the parting and what might have been.  Yet, as those who know the crucified and risen Christ do, we did not grieve without hope.  We spent time remembering and celebrating the gift that Ray had been to his family, to his church families in Bismarck and Detroit Lakes, and to his community and country (41 years in the National Guard and Command Sergeant Major for the State of North Dakota). We celebrated Holy communion together; I annointed his head with oil:  “Ray Scharnowske, child of God, you have been sealed with the Holy Spirit and marked with the cross of Christ.”  We prayed and hugged and I returned to Detroit Lakes.

Early on Tuesday morning, Ray was received into the promise of eternal life.

To those of us who grieve at First Lutheran, he was “Ray” or, for a long time, “Carol’s Ray” (as in Carol Lambrecht, our Parish Nurse).  His roots were in the Methodist Church, so he maintained that connection a long time, even while worshipping here with Carol.  But over time and because he saw needs he could respond to, he found his way into the congregation – leaving a permanent mark on our building (cupboards and closets, bookshelves and play areas) and on our hearts.  Whether using the painting expertise learned at his father’s side, or laughing at coffee with the Helping Hands group, or counseling the staff as our “honorary Dad,” Ray was a lively and treasured ministry partner here at First Lutheran.  He was a reminder of how many different gifts the people of God bring to the ministry of the Christ’s church and of how these gifts can be shared at any age.  He was a reminder that being a servant of Christ is about being a servant to each other.

We will miss Ray deeply here at First Lutheran.  We will pray for Carol and for his family.  And we will find hope in the promise of Jesus – that this one who left such a profound mark on the life of this congregation and community did so because the mark of Christ was upon him.  In baptism he received it.  In life he lived it.  In death he exchange it for eternity.  “Ray Scharnowske, child of God, you have been sealed with the Holy Spirit and marked with the cross of Christ – forever!”  Thanks be to God.

Grieving and hoping with you,

Pastor Wade

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